Why would someone read a book clearly titled erotic romance and then complain that the sex tropes are icky? Especially when we are talking about common tropes here - threesomes, double penetration, BDSM, et cetera.

I'm reading a thread on AAR (I know, it's AAR forums, a bastion of conservative readers), where this reader talks about tearing apart - literally, or so she claims - a Maya Banks book due to the sexual elements that she found objectionable.  Here's the thing: when I read an erotic romance, I expect sex scenes that push the envelopes. In fact, due to the ubiquity of the tropes, some elements in erotic romance now seem tame to me. I've talked in my reviews about the Neighborhood BDSM Sex Club Just Around The Corner That Everyone, Even Your Granny, Knows About, for example. Or how every hero or heroine is now running a brothel without encountering legal complications. Or how two men can happily decide, "Yay for fisting!" and go at it without copious preparation involving lube and what not. Or how double penetrations can always take place spontaneously, without any hitch or even a "Uh... my back's killing me, how about a change of position?" Or how a woman can service more than two men in one night without breaking a sweat and experiencing any discomfort. But at the end of the day, these are what make erotic fiction what they are.

Erotic romance should be risky. They should challenge the reader as much as they arouse. That's the whole point of erotic fiction. You start reading, you get off, and you have fun. 

Reading an erotic romance while expecting the author to conform to your comfort zone is a ridiculous concept, because the author cannot read your mind and tailoring an erotic romance to the most basic denominator means that it would turn out to be vanilla rather than erotic. There should be more than missionary positions in erotic romance. THAT'S THE POINT OF THE WHOLE GENRE!

Therefore, when reading a book by any erotic romance author, the reader should be aware that there is a chance that she may be squicked or offended. And when this happens, it may not be because the author is a bad writer, she writes "trash", or she is secretly an amoral slut. YOU could be the problem here. YOU do not find the fantasies erotic. This doesn't mean that you are "wrong" to find the fantasies icky. It just means that the erotic romance has failed to click with you. Move on, pass the book to someone else who enjoy the sexual fantasy, and go read something else. Like a non-erotic romance story. If you open an erotic romance expecting to pass judgment on the characters' sexual behavior or the "acceptability" factor of the sexual scenes, then you probably shouldn't be reading that genre in the first place.

PS: Sorry for the tone, but I'm a bit tired of erotic romances becoming the punching bag of every other person in the genre.